A is for Apple
crispy green feels good to cut
easy to reach for during those
little moments i’m worth
N is for nourish
nourish me with a french press with a
cigarette with pills that work better
On an empty stomach On an empty stomach
O. for that hollow place that forgot what
hunger feels like.
Are is the first word my therapist says
Really looks more like the shape of myself
like a lower-case checkmark that hunches over anything
that isn’t a plate.
E starts with a curse word
forces my teeth to curl into a syllable that reminds me
a word i want
other people to tell me. to tell me
but i can’t open my mouth to
Sandwich a D and a H around that word
they don’t serve Death at any restaurant.
X for the mark i walk around with
from the neck down
the slashes i’m too
Chicken to slice across my arms
these are endorphins for brave people scared people quiet people people
who beautiful betrayed because we know how to
look really good
even when we’re starving. we X out our mouths our
throats our chests our bellies.
push it all down into my lower organs. you can’t see
pain in a little intestine
while the upper parts keep smoking keep
drinking keep popping capsules of
don’t care anymore
don’t care anymore just
get me out of here
is for apple.
Lor Eftychiou travels around the country with her laptop. Her writing keeps her grounded.