I wait to sink back to my body after I finish my mirror cry
to myself bubble fear float above the eyes I see you in
other countries and on your tear-stained Victorian style
second house couch. We all feel sorry when we stare into
abstract paint. The same sun. The same trees. The same
bodies body yawn to breathe enough air. It doesn't matter
where and it does.
I want to feel sorry for ever being born and never being
Tell me your pain
is more meaningful so I can think
about killing myself again.
Our awe heart stares into a crystal ball and wants and wants and wants, but there is no insurance money guarantee. I know. you. want to believe in printed word money meaning certificates and big office rooms. We were all told we'd never be everything we wanted to be because of who we are and what a fucking lie to be told who we are by anyone. Anyone, a shadow. A shadow in everyone that whispers more and sounds angry. A shadow we feed our sadness to instead of love and gratitude. A shadow full of anger and years of abuse. Why do we put anything on coins? I want to fill the world with my sadness in ways you'd never notice. We all need to start losing our minds together is another way of saying we should think outside the box. There are many other ways to say we should think outside the box. The word meaning could have been a word that denoted something mean. How meaningful to know you and your pain and me and my pain. We measure our agony blood like scientists weigh rocks on silver scales.
Allissa Hertz earned an MFA in Creative Writing from Regis through the Mile-High MFA program. She received a BFA in Creative Writing and BA in Speech-Theater from Arkansas Tech University. She is an Editorial Assistant for Inverted Syntax. She was the Fall 2013 Editor of Nebo: A Literary Magazine. Her works are published and forthcoming in december Magazine, Progenitor, The A3 Review & Press, The Esthetic Apostle, and other publications.